‘Perfect Weather for a Marathon,’ Says Spectator Standing Perfectly Still on Hot, Cloudless Morning / A spectator at a local marathon Sunday declared conditions for the event “perfect,” Dumb Runner has learned, citing the high temperatures and full sun. “... See more
TRAGIC! This Runner Was Afraid He’d ‘Bulk Up’ If He Lifted Weights—and He Was Right / Bruce Banner spent years hearing about the importance of strength training, but the avid runner was reluctant to add it to his fitness regimen. “I was afraid I would bul... See more
Report: Local Runner Will Edit That Out Later / A local runner who paused her 3-mile run for a selfie will edit the photo later, Dumb Runner has learned, to “clean up” the background. Maria Antoinette, 33, took the photo about halfway through the run, int... See more
Experts Predict Marathon World Record Will Continue Falling, But Not TOO MUCH More, Because Come On / The marathon world record, which fell at this year’s London Marathon to a remarkable 1:59:30, will undoubtedly go lower, experts say—but only to a certai... See more
$500 Running Shoe Currently Sold Out, Because Sure, Ha Ha, Why Not, Nothing Makes Sense Anymore / Adidas’ newest “supershoe,” the $500 Adizero Adios Pro EVO 3, is sold out, Dumb Runner has learned, because fuck it, why not, everything is crazy now and not... See more
